I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
