Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
