U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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