watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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