the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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