For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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