I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
