Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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