i think my mom watched the whole time
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize