I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
