Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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