Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
