I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
