Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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