Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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