that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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