Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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