sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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