i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize