so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
