if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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