I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
