I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
