my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh god the rape fog is back!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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