That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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