Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
