He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
