Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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