Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
