I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
