Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have aggressive nipples.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i out mim tonsoeep
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