So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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