i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
