carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
