Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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