you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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