stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
