Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
