I cockslap morals
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
