Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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