His pubic hair was longer than his dick
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
