How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
