Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize