But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize