well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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