What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
