Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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