Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
