i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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