i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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