Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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