I hope mine doesn't look like that
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
