I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We named our party play list daddy issues
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize