oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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