are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
