last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All the doctor said was why
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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