i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize