okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
